A Journey of a Thousand Steps

Hola, amigas!  ?Como esta?

Amigas, because I think most readers are women.  Accent over the a in esta.

So begins our study of Spanish.

 I find that my keyboard does not allow for the correct punctuations.  I probably wouldn't use them correctly yet anyway.

Over a year ago, I finally broke down and ordered a computer Spanish program.  I had wanted to learn Chinese because my heart was with them and our missionary. But Hubby said he wouldn't learn Chinese--too hard--and Spanish could be used in the US and, well, he's usually wiser than me.

To tell the truth, I doubt I would have stuck with Chinese this long if Hubby hadn't been "hablas espanol" with me these past years.  And my old brain could not begin to remember such a hard language.  Spanish is supposed to be easy--ha!  But I digress.

When we started we had no goals.  Why were we struggling to conjugate verbs (say what?) and mis-pronouncing, even butchering the sweet language of Latinos?  We could not tell you.

Then just a few months ago President Obama lifted some of the restrictions with Cuba.

And BAM!  Hubby heard a call, or just got a bee in his bonnet, that WE were headed to Cuba.

Now I must confess that I have ALWAYS wanted to be a missionary.  Seriously.  Every time a missionary talked at our church, or I saw a video about the work, or I read a letter from one, I was all "Here!  Here, Lord!  Here I am.  Please.  Please send me! Don't you see my hand up, my arm waving?  I'll go!  Really!"

But my sweet Hubby was all, no, I don't think so.  Not now.  Probably not ever.

Bummer.

And now this, this assured focus that we are headed to Cuba.  Say, what?

I am confused.  No entiendo, por favor.  I don't understand.

You see, we have known the Lord for the better part of 35 years.  We are, if we can admit it, old.  The grey hair is under all this beautiful coloring our 3rd daughter so painstakingly brushes onto it. Our waists are wide.  Our fatigue levels high.

We are old.  And we struggle to put sentences together in espanol.  (Where do the subjects go to in those sentences anyway?)

I have learned something in these passing years.  I have learned that God's timing is not my timing.  (Having a 4th baby after the oldest is 16 and the youngest 8 was not MY plan.)  He has a reason for this time and this space.  And maybe we are the ones to go and encourage His Bride in Cuba.

So I won't fret.  I won't worry.  I'll trust in Him, rest in Him, and allow His joy to be my strength.

And maybe, just maybe, He will grace us with the gift of tongues.

So Adios, amigas.  Hasta luego.

Homesick

Homesick.  That edgy feeling that I'm out of water and thrashing for air like a fish.  That deep down pain that needs the comforts of home to alleviate it.

You would think at my age (uh-hem, 59!) that I wouldn't get homesick anymore.

But I do.

I have always been the one who hated to spend the whole night at a friend's home because I felt insecure and afraid.  Homesick.

Even as an adult I have been homesick .  Like when we vacationed at Disney World.  I was dead-tired.  So tired I could not keep my eyes open, but still wanting my bed and smells and comforts of home.  (When we got home, I was ready to turn around and fly back south as there was nearly 2 feet of snow to be trudged through at our car!)

Yet, today, this day when I'm, well, you know how old, I am still homesick.  But this homesickness is a bit different.  I have it even when I'm home, in my earthly home.

Homesick for heaven.

I wonder sometimes if you can be homesick for a place you have never been to.  Is that possible?

Homesick for heaven.

Crazy?  Maybe.

But I have my reasons.  First of all, who doesn't yearn to see God face to face?  Who would not long for that?

And a place where the sun shines because the Son shines.  I'm in!

And the 'ole stand-by, a place with no more tears, death or pain.  Ahhh, so need this.

And when The Pain has forced me to remain at home, I've wondered, even prayed, "LORD, why do you terry?"

Today, (as I write this) Liz Curtis Higgs sent me her latest blog (http://www.lizcurtishiggs.com/).  And she pointed me to 2 Peter 3, as if God was speaking directly to me.

It begins in verse 8's well-known words.

But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved,

that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years,

and a thousand years as one day.

I understand that last part.  It can seem like a 1,000 years when you are up all night with a fussy baby, or recovering from an illness.  It's been a few years since a day zipped by WAY too quickly.

But what caught my attention this time through 2 Peter 3 is in verse 15:

...and regard the patience of the Lord to be salvation...

Wait!  What?  God's patience is salvation?

Now why have I never noticed that part?  I know that verse 9 tells me that the Lord is not slow but patient.

...but [He] is patient toward you,

not wishing for any to perish 

but for all to come to repentance.

He is patient.  He is patient toward ME.  This I know well.  If He weren't, I would have no hope at all.

But His patience is salvation?  Wow.

Deep down, I guess I knew this.  I just never really realized that it was written in stone, hm, black and white, that God is patient so that _______________ will get saved.  (You fill in the blank)

So I'm trying to be more like Paul, praying to be more like Paul.  (I have so far to go!)

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

But if I am to live on in the flesh, this means fruitful labor for me;

and I do not know which to choose.

(Philippians 1:21-22)

Paul understood well this feeling of homesickness as he was chained to the Roman guards next to him.  In a strange land, in a strange situation of imprisonment, of course he longed for something better.  And like me, he longed for heaven, a place he had not seen yet either.

But Paul, being the Paul that was chosen by Jesus to go to the Gentiles, he could write this:

And convinced of this, I know that I shall remain

and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith

(Philippians 1:25)

Paul could see the fruitful need of staying here on earth, aliens in a strange land, missionaries to the masses.  That's the mind-set I want.

So I pray that my homesickness will spill out as a "last kick to the finish line" attitude.  May I encourage you to finish the race well, knowing that heaven waits--soon.

Christmas On 34th Street 2014

Instead of printing out a letter to family and friends, I decided to post my summary of 2014 and allow those who want to know what's up to read it.  The others can give a big sigh of relief that they don't have to worry about not caring about us here.

2014 started out shaky.  I had to have foot surgery at the beginning of February, which meant I was limping until then.  Surgery went well, but recover was ... bothersome.  Six weeks on crutches and in a wheel chair with no weight on that foot was exasperating, to say the least.

Yet in the healing, the waiting, God came down and "tabernacled" with me.  He was my constant companion during that time, more so than He usually is.  For just as the Baby Jesus came as Emmanuel, God with Us, God's Spirit will come and dwell in you if you believe.  So for me it was a time of closeness with God.

About a week after surgery, Wayne's father died.  We were kind of expecting it, but it is still difficult to realize we are both parent-less.  Orphans.  God claims that He will be a Father to the father-less, and I take Him at His word.

Memorial weekend brought the graduation of our 3rd grandchild up in Grand Rapids, Michigan, Caleb Smith.  We had a wonderful "vacation" sharing a townhouse with 2 daughters and 2 granddaughters.  We walked, a lot, and road bicycles and scooters (age appropriate there).  Wayne grilled our meals and Tasha did laundry each day.  We celebrated Caleb's pass into adulthood with camp fires and food and fun.  And FAMILY.

On the church-front, we both found some new ways to serve our Lord and Savior through Faith Bible Church.  Wayne became a greeter at the front door before the EARLY service.  A perfect place for one who loves to chat and joke, and can't sleep past 6.

I was able to wheel myself to rehearsals for a Good Friday skit.  The Youth Drama did an awesome job!  Then we were right into Vacation Bible School drama practices as the kids were Secret Agents to the Kingdom of God.  Presently I'm directing a bunch of animals, I mean children, as they get ready for Dec. 14th worship with a drama called The Manger Mystery.  It should be hilarious. (Note:  I missed the performance due to a stomach bug, but I heard they did great.)

Through all of this our grandkids grew one year older.  We enjoy watching Drew (7) & London (2) a few days a week.  I love having Liza come over with Evelyn(3) and Isaac(18 mos) once a week.  We are looking forward to another grand-girl graduating next May, Madelyn Ausenbaugh.  Sydney Smith transferred to a college in Riverside Christian College (not sure why she wanted to leave cold and snowy Michigan for sunny Cali), while her brothers Corbin and Caleb started classes at schools in Grand Rapids.  Elijah Ausenbaugh is an entepenuer in high-end atheletic shoes while he enjoys High School.

Jenn & Patrick purchased a new home and Jenn moved from Grand Rapids to Missoula, MT.  The rest of my girls continue on in good health:  Jeff & Tammy remain in Omaha, while Tasha & Jeremy and Liza & Nick live here in Lincoln.

Christmas on 34th Street is rather quiet.  Wayne and I will head to the Christmas Eve service to focus on the true meaning of Christmas.  And Christmas Day will be spent at his sister Sharon's, a long-standing family tradition.

God has been a close Friend this year, even through the trials and pain.  I find great comfort in going into my prayer room and sharing my heart's burdens.  Does He always give me my requests?  No.  But in the praying I am acknowledging that He is God and I am not.  I humble myself to Him and accept all His answers, good and bad, slow or quick.

My prayer for each one of you is that You will humble yourself before our God Almighty and realize that you can't save yourself out of sin.

That's why Jesus came.  That's why Emmanuel (God with Us) was born that Christmas day.  We needed a Savior, so God gave us His Son.  When Jesus died He took away our sins and the guilt from them.  God did everything that HE required from us.  We need do nothing to earn His salvation.  But, just like in prayer, we must become humble and acknowledge that we can't do it alone, by ourselves.  We need God's help.

So may the true Spirit of Christmas come to "tabernacle" in each of your hearts, now and into the New Year.

Blessings,  Wayne and Peggy Schafer

Getting back to fellowship

It's been awhile since I wrote.  I've been mulling over the thoughts that have been stirring my soul lately.  I'm praying I can make them coherent.  So....

"In the beginning God" is how the Bible, His-Story, begins.

There was God.  Elohim.  Creator God.

He was alone, but not alone as He is 3-in-1.  But that is not the topic of this post.

Fellowship with Him is the topic I see as a thread woven into the fabric of His-Story.

You see, it finally dawned on me the other day, more like week.  No, probably last month!  Time flies when you are pondering the deep, deep, things of God.  Anyway, it dawned on me that God is all about fellowship.

In the beginning was God.  Father, Son and Spirit.  Fellowship in one.  Then, for a reason only He can truly understand, He decided to create us.  You.  Me.  A new kind of fellowship.

We all know the story of creation.  Each day reserved for some new majestic creation that Elohim deemed "Good".

Then the not good:  Man, Adam, alone.

So the Whoa, Whoa, Whoa Woman was made.  And she was all that.  And more.

And God placed those first 2 in a Garden.  He didn't just place them there and let them evolve on their own into whatever.

No.  Genesis 3:8 reads "And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day...."

Now I will confess that I am not a Biblical scholar, but I remember someone teaching on this.  And what I remember is that this was a daily activity, God walking in the garden.  God in fellowship with man.

Think of it.  You've been enjoying the foliage, snapping pics of the most beautiful plants and flowers and posting them for everyone to, well, ah, Adam to see.  And you hear the rustle of the bushes and you aren't afraid.  You are excited.  For you know that God, Elohim, the Creator is coming to see you.

Fellowship.  True fellowship comes from being with God.  True fellowship is a consensual meeting of 2, or more, people to enjoy each other's company.  No more perfect enjoyment than to be a friend of God's.

When I experience fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ, we laugh, we talk, we listen.  Sometimes we cry or pray together.  And almost always there is food!

Adam and Eve were privileged to fellowship each day with God.  They didn't fear Him.  They loved Him and enjoyed being with Him.  Laughing, crying, talking, listening, hugging.  Oh, yeah, I forgot hugging.

And then sin happened.  It came in, and this perfect fellowship was broken.  In fact, God moved the 2 out of the Garden and put a guard at its entrance to keep them out.

Broken fellowship.  No more sweet times of conversation with He who knows all things, who loves us, who understands exactly what we mean.

Sad.

"In the beginning God" created man to be with Him in perfect fellowship.

Move with me down the road, through the years, to Moses and God's people Israel being led out of their slavery to Egypt.  God has once again come down to fellowship with man.

It is not as sweet a fellowship as before.  Sin has put a rift between God and His creation.  So He remains aloof, a pillar of fire or smoke set before them.  No hugging this time.

And the only one who can come near enough to truly fellowship with God is His servant Moses.

It seems though that God yearns to return to that true fellowship between Himself and mankind.  So He gives His one friend, Moses, the instructions to make Him a home where He can dwell among men.  And the Tabernacle is born.

But the rift remains.  Sin has tarnished our fellowship, and sin keeps rearing its ugly head in our lives, in our hearts, pushing God further away.

Then came David, a "man after God's own heart".  A true friend of God's.  So David draws up plans for a permanent home for God among His people.  The Temple.

Yet God said that David could not build that home for David had sinned.  David had killed many men and God could not let David build that home.

What to do?  How about David's son Solomon?  Here is one without bloodshed on his hands.  He could build God a home here on earth.  A permanent dwelling place where God could meet and fellowship with His people.  And it was so.

But sin. . . .that ugly wound festering.

God removes the Temple, not just once, but I believe twice.  Until Herod's Temple is built.  In His desire to be with us, God has had a plan all along, a plan to fellowship again with His creation.

The new Temple is during the time of the New Testament.  In God's perfect timing, His plan unfolds.

If He, a perfect and holy God, can not be around sin, and if the only way to erase sin is by the death of something, then that Something needs to be sinless and perfect.  But a lamb is only a temporary fix.  The Lamb that God provides is complete.

A perfect time.  Christmas, the first Advent of Christ.  The day that God's Son is born as a human and placed among men.

"Behold, the virgin shall be with Child, and shall bear a Son, 

and they shall call His name 

Immanuel," 

which means, "God with us."

Matthew 1:23

Immanuel.  God with us.  Fellowship!  Sweet and true fellowship is restored.

God wants us in fellowship with Him.  That is why He created us: you and me.  That is why He sent His Son to earth,  to fellowship with us.

Isn't that awesome?  Woohoo!

But sin.  Again sin.  Sin has a way of breaking our fellowship with God.  Why?  Because we are told that God is holy.  Holy, without sin.  Pure.  Perfect.  Unblemished.  Because He is holy, He can't be near sin or sinners.

That's what broke our fellowship the first time.  Adam sinned and God had to break away.

God came to Moses and the Israelites, but Moses and the Israelites sinned.  God stayed awhile, but man kept sinning.  God left.

Then Jesus came.  Immanuel.  God with us. 

But sin.  He could not remain with us because of our sin inherited from Adam.

So, He died.  But in His dying, He reconciled us to God.

For "...without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness"(Hebrews 9:22).  

He shed His perfect, holy, without-sin blood so that our sins, yours, mine can be forgiven.

He died.  He was buried.  He rose to new life.  Away from us.

But not fully gone.  This time He sent His Spirit, God's Spirit, to live not next to us, or near by us, but IN us.

Sweet fellowship!  When my sin was forgiven me I was cleansed of all sin.  I am no longer guilty of the sin in me.  God sees me as holy like Him.

So He comes to live in me.  IN ME!  Fellowship, sweet fellowship, beyond comprehension.

Bear with me and fast forward to Eternity Future.  See there in Revelations that our fellowship within will return to an outward fellowship of perfection with God.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying,

'Behold, the tabernacle of God

is among men,

and He shall dwell among them,

and they shall be His people,

and God Himself shall be among them....'

Revelation 21:3

God's story, His-story, His plan for us was fellowship with us.  It has been working its way all through His-Story.  He has never stopped loving us and wanting to fellowship with us.  And though the fellowship that I presently have with Him, He in me, is nice, I believe that future fellowship will with, seeing Him as He is, will be perfect.

Oh, sweet fellowship!  Come Lord Jesus and restore your Garden of perfection for us.  We wait anxiously to have you dwell among us forever.

Let the words

I did it again!  I must have, for I hear that familiar refrain, "Oh, Peggy."

That is a clue that what I said did not really match what was in my mind and heart.

Like the time I ran into a sweet younger woman in age, but older in faith, at the Post Office.  I had thought to just run in an mail somethings, so I hadn't put on make-up (cause the postal clerks don't mind???) nor did much with my hair.  And what DID I have on for clothes?

I don't remember that part.  But I do remember her telling me about coming from the gym.  And though I did not see evidence that she wasn't all put together as usual, I blurted out, "Oh, good.  I'm not the only one who looks like this!"

Really.  Truly.  That popped out of my mouth.  I hang my head in shame.

At the moment I was worried that I looked horrible and I found some kind of commeraderie in thinking that maybe she didn't feel all put together either....

Then she laughed and said that refrain, "Oh, Peggy." And gracefully, yes fully of grace, hugged me and hurried out the door.

Why is it that we can't seem to not say the stupid things that pop into our heads?  Or did I just do it again?  I lumped you into my suffering, foolish mind.

Of course YOU don't say everything that is on your mind.  YOU don't feel that bile taste of foot-in-mouth syndrome like I do.

Or do you?  (Kind of looking for someone who understands and suffers like I do, people.)

That's what is on my mind today.  And this verse:

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

be acceptable in your sight, 

O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

 Psalm 19:14

This brings me up short.  This puts the emphasis not only on what I allow out of my mouth, but also what I am allowing into my thoughts.

And what had I been thinking before speaking it?  I was thinking about ME!  How do I look if I run into someone I know?  What will she think of me?

In wasting time thinking about myself, I miss opportunities to hear how she is and what God is doing in her life at the moment.

Thus I need to repeat this verse often to myself.  And this one,

Search me, O God, and know my heart; 

Try me and know my [foolish, selfish] thoughts; 

And see if there be any hurtful way in me, 

And lead me in the everlasting way" (Psalm 139:23-24)

What I learned in September

I'm joining my other blogger friends in seeing IF I learned anything this month.  No wait, they did for sure.  Me?  We'll see.

1.  I definitely prefer to be comfortable rather than fashionable.  Don't believe me?  Check out the denim capris I've been rocking (Oh, I wish) this cooler days.

2.  Okay, taking a pic of myself in a mirror when its cloudy out doesn't really work.  All for the best.  From this selfie you can't really see that these are elastic waist jeans capris.  Totally grandma 101, right?  But at least I can breath.

3.  Prayer is awesome.  I did already know this, but sometimes I am reminded of it again.  Awesome!

4.  I can clean my house in a few hours on an off day (I normally do cleaning on Mondays) to be ready for Bible study hosting.  Toilet and sink clean.  Floors scrubbing or swept.  Living room vacuumed.  Thankfully my flock members don't notice its still dusty or that there are a few stray toys under things.

5.  Don't lock the screen door during a night football game when Hubby is gone.  Learned this the hard way.  I know I debated whether to lock the screen door at all as the evening wore on and the lights came up in the house, but I do feel a little safer with it locked.  Until I get 2 phone calls back to back (I didn't answer the first one.) at 12:07 a.m.  I answer worried that Hubby is in the hospital or something, "What's wrong?"  I hear "the door's locked" and think (say?) "Yeah.  So."  When I open the door Hubby waits.  I wait.  Why is he not coming in?  Then he rattles the screen door.  Oh.  I unlock it and turn around and head back to sweet sleep.

6.  If grandgirls watch you do something, like turn the computer monitor back on or off, they will never forget and you won't be able to keep them out of the computer.  (If the screen is black they think, or used to, that the computer is off.)  Now what?

7.  If you get WiFi at your house you will never, ever know the password.  I mean, come on, that was months if not years ago that we set it up!  Am I to remember everything?

8.  On a more serious note, The Pain loves the change in the weather.  This has been a particularly rough Summer to Fall transition.  The Pain has raised its ugly head and I am nearly defeated.

9.  Did I mention that prayer is awesome!  And The Pain does not like it.  awesome.

Okay, so I can't come up with ten things.  I hope these things that I've realized are things I've learned, otherwise I may be repeating them in a list yet to come.

How about you?  Have you learned anything lately?

And this is worship.

My heart was soaring.  Truly flying over this earth and hoovering just there, below the Heaven I long for.

It was a Saturday night.  Normally I would have been secure on the couch doing something with my hands as Hubby watched football.

But the game this week was in town.  And at night.  (Not a good combination.  Fans can't seem to figure out what to do until that kick-off time.)

I found myself alone.

So I wandered about the house, tried to watch a movie and do some busy work for Tiny Hands International, a ministry I work for that is stopping sex trafficking in Nepal, Bangladesh and India for thousands of girls.

And when my forearm ached from flexing it, stapler barely held in check, I wandered into my room where I pray.

That's when it happened.

It was almost as if the veil of Heaven, the one Jacob saw angels coming out of, opened up and I joined the choruses of angel songs praising my Father.

I didn't just come out of me spontaneously.  First I had to be still.

I know in this hectic world, stillness, that not moving not listening to anything, is the most difficult place to find and stay in.  My mind tends to wander, to go to those things I haven't done yet.  Or to counting those carbs that overwhelm me in this new eating I'm in.

But this night I pulled out my Bible and the study book of the names of God my women's study is going through, and I began to read passages that turned my thoughts, and my mind, to my awesome Dad, Yahweh.

So David blessed the LORD in the sight of all the assembly;

and David said, 

"Blessed art Thou, O LORD God of Israel

our Father,

forever and ever.

Thine, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the 

glory and the victory and the majesty,

indeed everything that is in the heavens and the earth;

Thine is the dominion, O LORD,

and Thou dost exalt Thyself as head over all.

--1 Chronicles 29:10-11

Ryrie Study Bible

And then David's prayer to Adonai Yahweh:

Be gracious to me, O God,

be gracious to me,

For my soul takes refuge in Thee;

And in the shadow of Thy wings I will take refuge,

Until destruction passes by.

I will cry to 

GOD MOST HIGH,

To God who accomplishes all things for me.

--Psalm 57:1-2

Do you feel it?  Is your heart growing lighter?  No?  Then how about:

He who dwells in the shelter of 

THE MOST HIGH (Elyon)

will abide in the shadow of 

THE ALMIGHTY. (Shadday)

I will say to the LORD,

"My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!'

--Psalm 91:1-2

How about now?

Shout joyfully to God, all the earth;

Sing the glory of His name;

Make His praise glorious.

Say to God, "How awesome are Thy works!

Because of the greatness of Thy power 

Thine enemies will give feigned obedience to Thee.

All the earth will worship Thee,

And will sing praises to Thee;

They will sing praises to Thy name." [Selah.

--Psalm 66:1-4

Speaking of singing, let's add some really good music, like Mystery by Charlie Hall (I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this song) and Creed by Rick Mullins.

If this doesn't get your soul dancing and singing and praising God with Psalms and songs of praise, I'm not sure what will.  Check your pulse.

I wept as I prayed.  I sang really loud (and probably off key).  And I sat quiet as I contemplated who I am (which is not important, except for), Whose I am.

I believe that we must be broken to be of any use to God.  Broken in heart, broken in soul.  Busted up, like crashing a vase to the cement and having it shatter.  Little tiny pieces that can't be put back together, or can they?

God is the Great Re-cycler.  A re-Purposer of the highest degree.  He not only sweeps up every last tiny dust particle that used to be me, but he breathes new life into it.  

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, 

he is a new creature; 

the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 

--1 Corinthians 5:17

God takes our shattered lives and He vacuums up the pieces.  Then He mixes those dust particles with His Son's blood, forming a new me, a new you.  Then to top it off, He breaths new life into us.  His life.  His very Spirit.  Breathed into me?!

Goose-bumps!

And this, my friend, is worship.