It was a Saturday night. Normally I would have been secure on the couch doing something with my hands as Hubby watched football.
But the game this week was in town. And at night. (Not a good combination. Fans can't seem to figure out what to do until that kick-off time.)
I found myself alone.
So I wandered about the house, tried to watch a movie and do some busy work for Tiny Hands International, a ministry I work for that is stopping sex trafficking in Nepal, Bangladesh and India for thousands of girls.
And when my forearm ached from flexing it, stapler barely held in check, I wandered into my room where I pray.
That's when it happened.
It was almost as if the veil of Heaven, the one Jacob saw angels coming out of, opened up and I joined the choruses of angel songs praising my Father.
I didn't just come out of me spontaneously. First I had to be still.
I know in this hectic world, stillness, that not moving not listening to anything, is the most difficult place to find and stay in. My mind tends to wander, to go to those things I haven't done yet. Or to counting those carbs that overwhelm me in this new eating I'm in.
But this night I pulled out my Bible and the study book of the names of God my women's study is going through, and I began to read passages that turned my thoughts, and my mind, to my awesome Dad, Yahweh.
So David blessed the LORD in the sight of all the assembly;
and David said,
"Blessed art Thou, O LORD God of Israel
forever and ever.
Thine, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the
glory and the victory and the majesty,
indeed everything that is in the heavens and the earth;
Thine is the dominion, O LORD,
and Thou dost exalt Thyself as head over all.
--1 Chronicles 29:10-11
Ryrie Study Bible
And then David's prayer to Adonai Yahweh:
Be gracious to me, O God,
be gracious to me,
For my soul takes refuge in Thee;
And in the shadow of Thy wings I will take refuge,
Until destruction passes by.
I will cry to
GOD MOST HIGH,
To God who accomplishes all things for me.
Do you feel it? Is your heart growing lighter? No? Then how about:
He who dwells in the shelter of
THE MOST HIGH (Elyon)
will abide in the shadow of
THE ALMIGHTY. (Shadday)
I will say to the LORD,
"My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!'
How about now?
Shout joyfully to God, all the earth;
Sing the glory of His name;
Make His praise glorious.
Say to God, "How awesome are Thy works!
Because of the greatness of Thy power
Thine enemies will give feigned obedience to Thee.
All the earth will worship Thee,
And will sing praises to Thee;
They will sing praises to Thy name." [Selah.
Speaking of singing, let's add some really good music, like Mystery by Charlie Hall (I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this song) and Creed by Rick Mullins.
If this doesn't get your soul dancing and singing and praising God with Psalms and songs of praise, I'm not sure what will. Check your pulse.
I wept as I prayed. I sang really loud (and probably off key). And I sat quiet as I contemplated who I am (which is not important, except for), Whose I am.
I believe that we must be broken to be of any use to God. Broken in heart, broken in soul. Busted up, like crashing a vase to the cement and having it shatter. Little tiny pieces that can't be put back together, or can they?
God is the Great Re-cycler. A re-Purposer of the highest degree. He not only sweeps up every last tiny dust particle that used to be me, but he breathes new life into it.
Therefore if anyone is in Christ,
he is a new creature;
the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
--1 Corinthians 5:17
God takes our shattered lives and He vacuums up the pieces. Then He mixes those dust particles with His Son's blood, forming a new me, a new you. Then to top it off, He breaths new life into us. His life. His very Spirit. Breathed into me?!
And this, my friend, is worship.